Ike's Day Off

If you lived on a ranch in Arizona in the 1880's you usually looked forward to a day in town.  Whatever you might say about Ike and his ranching buddies, they did work pretty hard.  Although today a cowboy may have a bachelor's degree in Farm Administration or Feedlot Management with a master's in Agricultural Economics added for good measure, they can still put in an eighteen hour workday.  So you can imagine what it was like in 1881, and a day off was always welcome.

But it couldn't be just for fun and games.  After all, it took longer for Ike to get into Tombstone than it takes to fly from New York to Toronto.  So you usually had to wait until there was some business reason to head on into town.  But a boondoggle is a boondoggle in whatever day and age.

On October 25, 1881, Tom McLaury and Ike Clanton loaded up into a spring wagon and headed on into Tombstone.  Tom had some business to transact with a local butcher and probably also had some banking business to attend to.  Ike went with him mainly to pick up supplies for the ranch.

When they got there they checked into the Grand Hotel.  In accordance with the city ordinances they left their guns at the hotel.  Tom, who according to Josie, was the hardest worker of the bunch, headed off about his business.

Exactly what Ike did isn't clear.  Since he was there to pick up supplies supposedly he spent at least part of the next 14 or so hours doing just that.  But when we next hear about him it was about one o'clock the next morning and he was in the lunch room connected to the Alhambra Saloon about to have what he called "a lunch".

If he was hoping for a nice leisurely meal to aid his digestion, he was sadly mistaken.  As he was about to take a bite, Doc Holliday walked in.   And Doc wasn't the type of man that furthered anyone's gastrointestinal processes.

According to Ike, Doc began to "abuse" him.  That's a formal nineteenth century way to say Doc started cussin' him out.  Remember Ike had been going around saying he had not cut a deal with Wyatt to bring in the stage robbers.  Even if done tactfully that still means Ike was calling Wyatt a liar.  But since tact wasn't Ike's strongpoint, he probably threw a few character references in as well.  Whatever he had been saying on the matter, Doc didn't like it.

Ike responded calmly and said he hadn't threatened the Earps.  Since the issues had been fully discussed at this point, Doc anticipated the tactics of the modern political campaign and began to get personal.

He said that Ike was "a son-of-a-[gun] of a cowboy" and told Ike to get out his gun and "go to work."  Scholars have debated what Doc meant by "going to work" but most don't believe Doc wanted Ike to pick up his pistol and rifle and head on back to the ranch.  And of course he really didn't say "son-of-a-[gun]" either.  But this story is written for the entire family.

Ike said that while Doc was cussin' him out that Doc had his "hand in his bosom."  Ike must have been nervous since what he really meant was that Doc had his hand in his coat.  Or maybe he meant his bosom was in his hand. In any case, most historians believe (as did Ike) that Doc was reaching for his gun.  Ike told Doc he didn't have a gun.

"You're a [darned] liar," Doc replied, and added "You son-of-a-[gun], you ain't heeled, go heel yourself."  Again Doc probably meant for Ike to get a gun since as far as is known Ike's boots were in fine shape.

Wyatt and Morgan were in the lunch room, too.  Morgan also had his "hand in his bosom" according to Ike, who seemed to see hands in bosoms wherever he looked.  Wyatt, in his own version of the story, said he was there too but didn't have his hand in this bosom.  He was eating his dinner and that might mess up his coat.

Wyatt said he told Morgan (who had been acting as a special policeman for the last few weeks) that he should stop Doc and Ike from quarreling.  Even by the rather lax standards of nineteenth century police procedure there's some doubt that Morgan did this in a proper and business-like manner.  Or maybe Morgan figured a good way to keep Doc and Ike from quarreling was just to shoot Ike.

So Special Policeman Morgan officially said to Ike,  "Yes, you son-of-a-[gun], you can have all the fight you want now."

Ike decided departure was the better part of valor, and he went out.   He also asked Doc and Morgan not to shoot him in the back. About this time Virgil strolled up.  Ike claimed Virgil did nothing to stop the "abuse", but Virgil himself said he told Doc and Ike to cut it out or he'd run them both in.

Virgil's story is probably true.  Morgan was affable but hotheaded, and Wyatt, who was usually pretty steady, sometimes let his temper get the best of him.  And Doc, of course, was a royal pain in the rear end even at the best of times.

But Virgil was then and in later years widely respected as a fair, level headed, and conscientious lawman.  And he would toss anyone in the hoosegow who was causing problems.  Once Wyatt got rambunctious and Virgil threw him in the slammer.  Wyatt was fined $20 and paid up.  Virgil even hauled his friend John Clum in for speeding.  At the time John was not only the editor of the Daily Epitaph but he was also the mayor of Tombstone.

Again nobody knows exactly what Ike did after he left.  Probably he wandered around a bit, pretty cheesed off at Doc and Morgan.  But finally he sat down in a poker game with Tom McLaury, Virgil Earp, and some others.  They played pretty much the rest of the night.  We don't know who won, but Virgil had his gun in his lap the whole time

After he finished his last hand, Virgil got up and walked out.  Virgil's story is that Ike followed him and griped about Doc hassling him.  Ike said he was going to get himself armed and Doc had to fight.  Virgil told him he was going to bed and didn't want Ike to cause any trouble.

Virgil then went home and told Allie he was trying to stop Doc Holliday and Ike Clanton from killing each other.  Allie said she didn't see why he bothered.

As dawn came stealing over the blue Chiricahua Mountains, we find Ike sure enough HAD done exactly what he said he was going to do.  He had picked up his rifle and pistol and was wandering around town looking for Doc.  At some point, he decided to include the Earps in his hunt as well.  As the morning wore on most everyone in town soon knew what was up, mainly because Ike kept telling them.

This is the point where the Earp Champions lay blame for the Gunfight at the OK Corral on Ike.  After all, he was wandering about and for all appearances was intent on having a fight with Doc and the Earps.  They seem to forget that it was Doc who really started it all.

And if you look at how the courts of the nineteenth century defined self-defense, it's likely that if Ike had found Doc and blasted him, he probably would have been acquitted.  Of course, since Ike was wandering around making threats against Doc, if Doc had found Ike and shot him, Doc probably would have been acquitted too.

This "I'm OK and Innocent/You're OK and Innocent" philosophy of self defense may seem strange to those of us a hundred or more years later, but it made good sense at the time.  For all practical purposes, most western shootouts could be classed as violence between consenting adults, and it just wasn't worth the taxpayer's money to waste much time with them.  If you got in a scrap with someone and both of you wanted to shoot it out, well, fine, if no one else got hurt.

But to make sure that any violence was with the approval of all parties, when a gunfight erupted the winner couldn't just hop on his horse and ride happily off into the sunset.  That's fine in the movies or TV, but in reality it didn't happen that way.

Instead if there was a gunfight and someone got plugged, both pluggor and the pluggee (if he survived) would get arrested and hauled into court.  True, many of such cases never proceeded beyond a preliminary hearing.  If there was any semblance of self defense, the fellow would usually be let loose and that was that.  THEN he could ride off into the sunset.  The days of getting slapped with a multiyear megamillion dollar lawsuit because you had violated the civil rights of the man who was about to blow you away were long in the future.  Now that didn't mean there wasn't room for some pretty creative court rulings such as the time Judge Roy Bean fined a dead man $40 for carrying a concealed weapon.  But that was Judge Roy Bean.

So before we rejoin Ike, let's look at some bonafide documented cases.

Buckskin Frank Leslie was the bartender of the Oriental Saloon (where Wyatt had his faro game).  Once he got into an argument with a young cowboy for some reason.  Frank was a hefty, no-nonsense type of guy and just gave the young cowboy the old heave-ho.  Frank later learned that the fellow was waiting out front with a gun hiding behind a fruit stand.  Frank got wind of this, walked out a side door, and shot him.

Plea?  Self-defense.

Verdict?  Not guilty!

Well, Frank did say he called a warning first.

A few years later an assistant marshal of Dodge City, Mysterious Dave Mather, got voted out of office and was replaced by a fellow named Tom Nixon.  Shortly after the election Tom took a shot at Dave, who got off with nothing more than a splinter in his finger.  Tom was arrested and charged with attempted murder.

Now it seems strange that Tom was the one to take a plug at Dave and not the other way around.  But there were some bad feelings between the two men above and beyond the assistant marshal's job.  For one thing, the two men had interests in rival saloons, and Dave was selling his beer at less than half the rate of Tom's.  It was also said that Dave was fooling around with Tom's wife.   Whatever the cause, Mysterious Dave was evidently in a forgiving mood because he declined to prosecute.

Well, if Dave thought that to forgive was divine, Tom sure as heck erred by not finishing Dave off.  A few days later Dave walked up behind Tom and softly called,  "Tom, oh, Tom!"  Before Tom could turn Dave shot him in the back.  Now it was Dave's turn to get arrested.  This time for murder.

Plea?  Self-defense.

Verdict?  Not guilty!

Even as late as 1908, you had the same sort of thing ,and it involved none other than Pat Garrett, the man who shot Billy the Kid.  Pat was in his late fifties then and had settled down to a not too profitable ranching venture outside of Las Cruces, New Mexico.  He was going into town with a young man named Wayne Brazel who had leased part of Pat's ranch.  At one point Pat got a bit nasty with Wayne about the details of the arrangement.  Wayne was riding his horse alongside Pat's buckboard and later when Pat got down to take a pee, Wayne shot him in the back.  Pat died almost immediately.  Wayne, who said that Pat had "threatened him", was arrested.

Plea?  Self-defense.

Verdict?  Not guilty!

So maybe Allie's advice to Virgil was probably the best.  If Virgil had let Ike and Doc settle it themselves, there would have been a lot less trouble for everyone.

But Virgil took his law enforcement responsibilities seriously.  Around eight o'clock, one of Virgil's deputies, Andy Bronk, came in and told Virgil that Ike was walking around with a gun, and that "there was likely to be [heck]."  Virgil thought for a moment and decided if Ike was only shooting his mouth off and not much more there wasn't much to get worried about.  So he went back to bed.

Now carry firearms around town was illegal.  But bowing to practicality, it was understood that if you kept the gun hidden, you were usually OK.  Unlike the movies you rarely saw anyone walking around town with a gun and holster complete with cartridge loops and leg straps.  Guns were typically shoved into pockets (front or hip) or trouser waistbands and you wore a coat or a long shirt to cover them up.  Some people would have special coats with the pocket slit so you could reach into your pocket and grab the gun.  Wyatt himself went so far as to have his coat pocket lined with leather so the pistol wouldn't snag.  The main thing was to keep it out of sight.

And it was all right to be armed if you were just coming into or leaving town.  Maybe that's what John Clum, Tombstone's mayor, thought when he saw Ike.  John hadn't heard of the hiatus with Ike and Doc.  He just saw Ike carrying around a rifle and didn't get too excited.  If anything, he thought it was a joke.

"Hello, Ike," he called, "any new war?"  John then went about his business, no doubt chuckling at his own wit.

The trouble was Ike was being a bit ostentatious, and he kept telling everyone how he was going to get Doc and the Earps.  One of Ike's unwilling listeners was Ned Boyle the bartender at the Grand Hotel who bumped into Ike on the street.  Ike told Ned that he was waiting for Doc and the Earps to show up so he could have it out.  Ned told Ike forget about it.

Ned then went to Wyatt's house and told him what Ike was up to.  Wyatt seemed puzzled and wondered what the heck had gotten into Ike.

Then Ike went into Julius Kelly's bar and started telling everyone he was looking for the Earps.  By George, they had threatened him when he wasn't heeled, and now he was ready.

You'd think Ike was working his way through the city directory to hear about it.  Now off he wandered now to Hafford's Corner Saloon and talked to the owner.  Again he said the same thing, that he was looking for Doc and the Earps.  Now he added that they had agreed to a showdown at high noon.  Mr. Hafford pointed out it was ten minutes past and told Ike to forget it.

Ike kept rambling about town, and in an amazing flash of insight, decided if he wanted to find Doc, by golly, he might try looking where Doc lived.  So he headed over to the boarding house owned by Camillus Fly where Doc lived with his girlfriend, Kate Fisher.

But even here he didn't seem to try all that hard.  He just stuck his head in, looked around, and walked out.  But Mrs. Fly was a bit upset to see the bleary-eyed Ike in her house with a Winchester.  She told Kate, and Kate went in to wake up Doc.  She said Ike had a rifle and was looking for him.

"If God will let me live to get my clothes on," Doc piously said, "he shall see me."  Evidently Doc felt that a gunfight called "The Nude Gunfight at the OK Corral" would look pretty ridiculous in the history books.  Besides, it was cold that day.

It's kind of funny.  Ike spent the whole morning looking for the Earps and Doc, and everyone except Ike seemed to have no problem finding them.  About the only conclusion you can draw is Ike wasn't really all that anxious for a shootout.  If left alone he probably would have gotten tired (he hadn't slept that night) and then gone on back to the hotel.  He could then have gone to bed convinced that everyone in town now knew how Ike Clanton had stood up to the Earps.  And the thing would have blown over.

But Ike didn't know when to quit.  His wandering around town for five or six hours, visibly armed and threatening to plug Doc (at least) and the Earps (if they so chose) was too much for a lot of people.  So about noon, Virgil had gotten tired of people telling him about the Odyssey of Ike Clanton and decided he'd have to do something.  So he got out of bed, and like Doc, figured a lawman would be more effective with his clothes on.  So he got dressed and out he went.

Ike spent all morning looking for the Doc and the Earps and didn't find them.  It took Virgil about two minutes to find Ike.

There was no Miranda ruling back then. None of that "You have the right to remain silent" stuff.  And no lawman who wanted to live long enough to run for re-election tried the Matt Dillon bullshine routine of "Hold it!  Drop your gun!" either.  Instead Virgil saw Ike, walked up behind him, and slapped him upside the head with his revolver.

He then said "You [darned] son-of-a-[gun], we'll take you up here to Judge Wallace's office."  And that's where they went.

Ike's day in court is interesting if for no other reason it was witnessed by some fairly impartial individuals.  And as usual when this happens the stories vary somewhat from how the major participants tell it, and none of them seem to come off all that well.  The Earps don't seem quite the staunch upstanding lawmen intent on preserving law and order and Ike didn't seem to be much of a innocent injured party simply trying to defend himself.

The judge wasn't there so someone went off to fetch him.  Morgan and Wyatt also showed up and they began where Doc left off.

Wyatt no doubt was a man who had plenty of courage but here he didn't show it too well.  With Ike sitting there with his head banged up, unarmed, and outnumbered three to one, Wyatt said that Ike was a "[darned] dirty cow thief" and offered to fight him anywhere.  Morgan then added "I'll fight you anywhere or any way."

Wyatt kept at Ike, saying "You cattle thieving son-of-a-[gun], you've threatened my life enough, and you've got to fight!" 

"All I want is four feet of ground," Ike said.  Perhaps he was still a bit woozy from getting slapped in the head since he had a whole ranch already.  He went on to show his concern about increasing the business opportunities and income of Tombstone's public servants.  "If you fellows had been a second later I would have provided a coroner's inquest for the town."

The razzing continued until the judge showed up and fined Ike $25 for carrying firearms within the city limits.  He threw in $2.50 for costs.  It makes you wonder how much the judge got paid.  Virgil told Ike he would leave his arms at the Grand Hotel.  Ike paid up and left.

Then right after court, Wyatt ran into Tom McLaury.  Wyatt was still ticked off at Ike, but he figured Tom was a good substitute.

"Are you heeled?" Wyatt asked, not noticing Tom's boots anymore than Doc had.

Tom said he wasn't, and from what some of the by-standers said, it appears that Tom was more interested in finding out what the heck was going on than picking a fight with Wyatt.  Now Tom may have been a bit miffed at what had happened to Ike, but he wasn't particularly nasty about it.  One witness even heard Tom say he had always been a friend of Wyatt's.  But then he added that if Wyatt wanted to fight he would fight him anytime.

Bad move, Tom.  You just didn't say something like that to Wyatt Earp.

"All right, make a fight here!" barked Wyatt.  And Wyatt being Wyatt Earp yanked out his gun and slapped Tom on the side of the head.

"I could kill that son-of-a-[gun]", Wyatt said to no one in particular as he strolled off to have a smoke.

Like the meaning of life, the purpose of black holes, and if a falling tree makes any noise if nobody is around, the question of whether Tom McLaury was armed that day has become one of the great unanswered mysteries of the universe.  At this time though Tom probably wasn't.  If he did Wyatt could have - or at least should have - hauled him off to jail.

Now with both Ike and Tom not feeling their best, outnumbered, and with the city marshal and his deputies (not to mention Doc) considerably irritated with them, it's possible they would have gotten the heck out of town.  Or at least that's what they should have done.

But then Ike's brother Billy and Tom's brother Frank happened to ride into town.

Suddenly the odds had evened out.