Phill Jupitus on Qi

Phill Jupitus is one of the frequent guests panelists on BBC's Qi and assumes the role of gadfly and foil to host Stephen Fry. Some of this is mock flirting such as when Stephen announced he would be giving them bonus points if they could recognize a phony story, and if they did, they should hold up the signs they were given.

"Oh, Mr. Fry," Phill said coyly hiding behind the sign, "you spoil us with your bonus points."

Much of the banter arises due to the contrast of the panelists who have more workman like backgrounds than Stephen's Cambridge education. For instance, once panelist and fall-guy Alan Davies asked Stephen what was the Latin term for the beer goggles. Stephen had never heard of the beer goggles.

"When you've got the beer goggles on," Alan explained, "it's when you really fancy someone who normally you wouldn't fancy".

"So you would refer to someone as a 'seven-pinter'," suggested Jimmy Carr.

"Stephen doesn't have beer goggles," added Phill, "he has Madeira pince-nez." He then went into one of his imitations of Stephen while making a grand gesture with his pipe.

" 'Oh, you're a cracker!'" Phill boomed. "'More Madeira? A small sherry?'"

"You're all rotters," Stephen muttered, "and I hate you!" It was with some satisfaction, perhaps, that at the end of the show he then announced Phill had come in last.

Phill and the other panelist often rib Stephen about his public school background ("public school" in Britain is a "private school" in the US and vice versa). The question once came up about the difference between stalagmites and stalactites with the pun that "tights" in British English is "pantyhose" in the US.

Stephen said "I was always taught tights hang down was the thing."

"Public school again," interjected guest Rory McGrath.

Phill then put on his best schoolmaster voice.

" 'Fry, put on the 15 denier and see me in my study!' "

Stephen does occasionally slip in trick questions or those which have no answers. On one of the early shows he asked which is the odd one out: Paris, London, Poland, or Banana?

Phill said that Poland and Banana were the odd ones out because Down and Out in Poland and Banana would be a terrible title for a book.

After a few more guesses by the panel, Stephen said that none of the words were the odd ones out. They were all places on Australia's Christmas Island.

"What kind of hellish quiz is this?" Phill asked. He again went into his Stephen imitation. "'What one's the odd one out? None of them! Baaah! Baaah! Baaah! Baaah!'"

"Hey," Stephen called, "is that me?"

"That's you," Phill replied.

"Oh, bugger you," Stephen retorted. "I don't sound like that.

Phill was also on the panel when Stephen told the story about a Cambridge undergraduate nicknamed "Heinz". "Heinz" was just a nickname and was bestowed because ....

Well, maybe we had best relegate that story - and Phill's comments - to a section of

Sad to say, there is nothing broadcast on this side of the Atlantic that meets the high standards of both comedy, information, and freedom of speech as Qi. But who knows? One day perhaps the colonies will catch up.